2 AM

It’s been a long day. Went to bed this morning at 2AM because I had to clean the kitchen and Zechariah just wouldn’t stay asleep until I got in the bed with him. But eventually I got him down again to accomplish that task. At 2AM.

2 AM and I’m up for ANOTHER FEEDING! 2 AM and I’m just now able to settle in and take a nice hot shower and get ready for bed. 2 AM and I’m awake eating some bomb ranch flavored chicken from Dope Cheff (it’s B lol). 2 AM. This is what my 2 AMs look like majority of the time. But this 2 AM .. IN THIS MOMENT .. I need to do something differently! I need to do something for me. Something that makes me come alive. So this .. this post .. this 2 AM post is dedicated to me.

So, the quote above is something I ask myself all time and never think to ask myself what am I doing for Wytrina. So today, I woke up and started my day by doing something for someone else. I benefit from the something but it still wasn’t FOR ME! It’s for the family I’m trying to build. But it wasn’t FOR ME. Solely for WYTRINA! I continue on about my day doing things for others .. yes again, it benefits me but it’s not really FOR ME! I’ve neglected me today. I’ve neglected myself many many days. And I’m drained. Drained from what? Drained from doing things for others, knowing I need to be doing something for me! Don’t get me wrong, I love helping others, which is why I’ve drained myself. But here we are again and another day has gone by and I haven’t done anything to fulfill my dreams. They matter. And it’s time I show myself that my dreams matter too.

Then I come across this. “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” .. sigh .. what makes me come alive? Something I’ve never thought to fully inquire about. Until 2 AM. I came alive. When I started writing this. Writing has always been a desire of mine. I started writing when I was very young. I received a 6 on my FCAT Writing the very first time I ever had to take it in 3rd grade (clap clap clap). Yes I still pride myself on that accomplishment. It was and still is MAJOR! There were 3 of us that received that score. However I was the only girl! Major !! Again !! I was apart of a book and writing club and I wrote stories all the time.

However, most recently, I’ve been afraid to put my thoughts on paper. To really dream again. To go big! I want to be a children’s author. I want little brown boys and girls to pick up books and come alive as they read about themselves and see themselves in the stories that I’ve written! I want to write television shows and movies that teach and reach young brown skinned teenagers. Something they can relate too. Something that pushes them to want more for themselves and dream bigger dreams than ever before. A show or movie that showcases life lessons and values that they can take with them as they continue to blossom into who God created them to be. I want to write to inspire. I want to write to help people of all ages grow closer to Jesus Christ. That’s what makes me come alive.

So when do I start. I start at 2 AM! I brainstorm at 2 AM. I pray at 2 AM! I dream again at 2 AM! And at 2 AM I ask you, what makes you come alive? Whatever it is, GO DO IT! Come alive with me! Because it’s in this very moment that I realize that I am just as important as others! And so are you! Your dreams matter! Even at 2 AM!

– Wytrina Wrights to come alive